teary-eyed

my second christmas away from family and i only got teary-eyed..not bad.

christmas eve was the day i feared most of all because in my family, we would stay out - usually at church for evening services - and come home past midnight. we would heat up the noche buena food as we parceled out gifts for each of us. among the gifts we had for each other were gifts from church members scattered under the tree. those were always the first ones to be opened..not because they were insignificant and we wanted to get on with the more important gifts, but because they were for the whole family. we were always so egalitarian.

i dont remember a christmas where we didnt stay up even a little bit and open at least one present each. this american (or white? not sure) way of waiting until christmas morning is odd to me and i dont know if i'll adjust to it. hmm..

so last night, i curled up with a great book and read until my eyes got heavy. i knew i was drifting off to sleep when my hand began to sway and i lost my place in the book. as i tried to find my place again i heard the faint gospel christmas special on tv and someone going off on o holy night..probably the 16th version i've heard this week. realizing i could still finish tomorrow, i put the book down and drifted off to sleep.

maybe next christmas will be different.